One year and on we go - 6/28/13

A year to the day,
A day for all our years

An over-shoulder look
A moment paused, a moment primed

Now is forever
In my heart and yours

The last wave leaving shore
The first breeze of the morning

Endless song
Alive, aloud, unstoppable, proud.

Stay with me
Every day

Wake with me
To a life I will live only with you

Stay mine as I stay yours.
Forever is now.


Happy Anniversary my baby barn owl, my love, my everything.

Straws

Envelop and swallow me.
Whole and in pieces.

Drink from me,
of my blood
and of my sweat.

Star laden night,
low hung,
sprawled across the grass.

Paper cuts

A thousand tiny cuts.
Paper cuts gush sometimes too.

Them Books

If I should falter,
Remember I loved those books of mine.

No discarded rubbish heap,
No pavement pushcart,
No irresponsible finger
Shall they bear.

Resplendent shall they lie,
Locked away and encased,
Breathing small islands,
craggy mountain peaks,
and that snowflake.

Remember me to the story.

Pavlov

A stranger menagerie I don't quite remember,
A nuzzle,a nibble and then a giant bite.

The dogs of discontent,
Snarling teeth and bared fangs.

Jaw imprints all over my arm,
Teeth sunk deep,
Deep into dream recess.

Texture

I miss the grass,
Curling around my toes.

Inexorable itches,
thorny addendums.

The sand,
swirling outward,
with wave
and wind.

Its all concrete here,
Shoes and socks
and Elevators.

I miss the texture,
Mud,sand,grass.

The rain in Triplicane

Driving down Triplicane,
Bananas,Coconuts and auto parts,
Narrow pushing narrow into alley spills,
Its not my problem.

Cycles spewing sewage streams,
Horns and bells and whistles,
Thunderclaps of a thousand voices,
Its not my problem.

Swerving green ogres,
Jostle,jostle,jostle for that inch,
Wipe that sweat from off your brow,
consign the detritus of the day.

For here it comes,
Giant shattering goblets,
The rain, the rain, the Rain.

FIreflies

Fireflies in my backyard,
across the fence near the tracks.

Unawares of beginnings
or ends.

Fireflies amongst the trees,
fireflies in the breeze,
fireflies at my knees.

Bring the rain.

Rain in the early morning 8/16/09

Six a.m morning,
the overnight rain hangs to the sky.

Fourth,fifth and sixth chances,
Patterns in wood and water.

Giant puddles ripple in the breeze,
Echoes of koels ring around you.

Take them.Make them.

The drive home,
peace settles on your brow.

'Here comes the sun',
and everything will be allright.

The First of August 8/2/09

There are some days words fail you

Days that turn revolutions in front of your eyes

Unraveling that song that was playing in your head

And all of a sudden,

You arrive at a moment, imperceptibly.

In a sudden flash of brilliance

Everything is illuminated.

Awash in a Happiness you never knew existed

You are that happiness.

You are that moment

You are the brilliance that has set me alight.

A Windmill - 6/15/09

There are certain moments that remain.
Incandescent almost.
Seared into thought,
patterened onto smiles.

Turkish coffees brewed in a drizzle.
Lightning descends,
undercurrents.
Saltatory sparks.

Back and forth.

An Ode to Owls and other winged Creatures 6/9/09

Caught in the way,
Of a fullnight moonsky

unawares of the elephant,
the giraffe and the pelly.

An embrace,an exclamation,simplicity.
A clarity of mind,
a lightness of being.

An intangible tomorrow,
wrapped in unfathomabilities

and all of a sudden,
an unexpected burst of mountain air.
Peace.

Mudita 5/23/09

4:56 on a drying wet sunday morning,
on another day,
it could have poured.

Bread omlettes came after inbetween sleep.
The trees frame my road,
overarching.

'Did you do it's' rent the air,
The call of a smart bird.

Mellow mud,red and grainy.
random lightning throws.

A hum behind my ear.

A time for Firsts 5/12/09

The power went out,
and the quiet descended.

Sandswept pigeons coo,
at a misdirected barn owl.

Playlist madness,
chaos conundrum.

and all of a sudden,
stillness.

A near perfect stillness.

Churn 5/3/09

Sometime you dont remember
the words,the deeds,the everything.

And all in a moment of churn,
they come out at once

Someone's humming
a little ditty

and for that moment,
it is just right.

This - 4/24/09

There was nothing but silence,
and thats how the songs starts

verses about the world,
and shallow reflective pools of water.

Its one of those songs,
that lends itself to singing.

The background score fades,
the eyes come into focus,

casual nonchalant glances
and moments frozen in time.

A Quirk of Song

In a curious twist of fate,
he sang.

Is it going to be ok?
she asked.

To which he said,
If you bob your head.

Abruptly it stopped,
power cut.

Senile Reverie - 2/16/09

I have a feeling,
ends,beginnings,backwards and forwards.
Forwards and back.

Life grows directionless
and unstill;
We live in them,
from time to time.

And it comes by
to say hello
Like fireflies in the night.

Some dance,
and the others watch.
and in singular moments,
they cross.

There is no summing up,
It just happens,
in between and
along the way.

Stones skip and glide
across the waters edge,
awakening yesterdays sun.

Vicious-Non-Vicious

You already know how it ends tonight,
Its all coming down.
Down like those raindrops.

Its the prerogative of the day,
to decide how it happens;
do you come this far
with a broken heart?

unanswered questions,
unresponsive fried chicken,
not enough time.

Not enough time.

But the muic doesn't stop playing.
it goes on
and on.

vicious, non vicious circles.

Notches

I'm tired and spent.Bone dry as well.
Is there even a point?
A method to the madness?

Or is it simply;
the butterfly in the breeze
and hurricanes in Panama?

Overwhelming underwhelment,
A notch too high
A point too far
I've said too much already.

As you please Jeeves 12/11/08

Sometimes it feels like a mosquito bite,
That lingering red.

Most other times,
its the radiance of a thousand suns,
burning through you.

No matter how the world turns,
the stillness does not evaporate.

Searching for that elusive moment,
never ending.

Interminable Disaster

Its about time,
I return to the drawing board,

Scratching my scalp,
I find peanuts and dried twigs.

How do i imagine
I could possibly understand,

That in a million strung together moments,
poetic justice remains in the realm
of poetry alone.

Interminable disaster.

Across the Universe - 9/17/08

There are days, and then there are days.
the score never stops,
another song,another track.

random words float across my eyes,
it could have been a superpower
in another life.

But im bulletproof,
nothing can deter warhorses,
they just march.

Have you ever wondered what they think?
standing in the shade of a palm,
sipping pools of blood.

And then the words fade,
the superhero guise thrown away.
i begin the slow stroll,
Across the universe.

Today/Tomorrow

There was a time,
when i knew the meaning
of the dawning of the day.
Dis-appear,disforget,disremember me,
Its all part of the act
the perfect confluence.
Its unremarakable that im alive.
yet still,speak to me,
Not in tongues.

When I ruled the World

Its been a while
i wish i was awake
when it happened

now it just seems
a long time ago
passing through sleep and dreams

eluding the search
a cacophony of madness
inside outside in.

Wistful

Penitent peace
bamboo breeze

A wisp of a smile
a sembelance of happy

Rooms of shared laughing
Evaporating sadness.

That's where I'm going 7/20/08

A knock hello,
tapper tapper,

i wonder
if i still believe.

Then again,
its not a matter of belief.

You dont know,
one way or the other.

The otters are happy,
its polar bear time
thats where im going
away into the cold

into the daynightday
be anyone i want to be.
Because i can.

Realign Time

Realign time.
Dawn; a new day.

The spiders shadow
the lightrayleaf

Careful treads
Snow lepoard spots.

Atop a mountain,
neverending.

In this Minute 7/15/08

Vague drifts,
empty your cup,
the water laps over
with the wind.

Indirection surge,
How do i do anything
without the weather vane?
hollow blows.

Curious Day

The oddity of the day was not in its oddities really
Silhouetted against a mirror,
dark in contemplation,
in thought lost

alive in remembrance
a day not too old,
not too young.
content to cloud float

how does it move?
for it is a curious creature.
curiouser and curiouser
an answer not mine to know.

Where

when the day is done
and all the rest have gone

there is an inescapable truth
no matter
where
or how,

it will always seem as though

the day is never done.

Elk

there are things better
left unremembered

a lonely sidewalking sojourn
ending in ignominy

will anyone
render this useful?

a long shot methinks.
a real long shot.

elk.elk,lots more elk.

Back in the Day

Sometimes i wonder,
why the ants decided
to be ants at all.

Its a mindless thing
to think

of all that was my microcosm
to livein-liveout a tiny globe

hurry burry spoils the curry
its a funny thing not to regret.

It was the making of me :)

A hard beat 4/16/2008

Apparently the sun is meant to shine for you,
The only thing is,
the forecast predicts rain,
or perhaps a cyclone.

Loose ends need tying up,
at the end of the day
Its always nice to see
a perfect suture.

In circles we roam,
around and around
a dire dirge,
a song that never leaves your throat.

Leave it to the hills and sea's
there must be a way to know
that cyclones are not meant
to be tidy finishings.

Slipped through my fingers sandlike,
a time inside a watch-minute
the whirring of another day intruding,
upon the perfect moment.

For a Name I Quest

Is there anything left for me?
or is it just the detritus of the day
waiting for the garbage collecter?

A singular silence alone knows my name,
but somehow decides to remain mum.

Around and around,
down a bottle,
slippery slope-slide down this way.

My own snore stills the fan,
leaving me to reflect on dreams
that could have been mine.

The Choices of a Drunk

The shadow of today descends upon us
it seems so simple

theres no escape
im thinking of a hundered different things

where do you want to be?
have you lost your composure?

the more i see
one last choice

over my head,
cant sing a note.

is this the way its meant to end?

Free

I want to be free
under the sky
chase away,
waiting to be found, or not.

I hear the music play
its all around really
i wonder,
where was it all the while?

guarantee me,
that the vacous hole will not swallow me.
and my gratitude
is yours.

Into Tomorrow

Once in a while the strangeness is petrifying.
Its akin to a fear of falling from heights.
Its not unlike the lethargy that grips your soul
Sometimes, you just wish that you were a leaf.

Wish that tomorrow would be a new world,
limitless.

Apologize

An apology
does not a clean slate make

Does not rid one of the guilt
or sweep away the hurt

The hands are dealt
the odds are stacked

Take back those words
you think

take back those deeds
you wish

wish you could be better
an apologists apology can not save you.

Still,
can life yet not change?

What was the point?

Another day
another strange sound

I wish i was someplace else
there doesn't seem to be a point

this useless back and forth
around around merry-go round

an awakened dream state
stuporous swells

a search bereft of desire
is no search at all.

Akin to a Rolling stone

its mighty odd..
it aint no good

that other people walk away with the prizes
how does it feel?

like a complete unknown.
its the end of the day.

And i know that i should have known better
before double vision struck at the root of me
before refusal was my only alternative

tell me in all honesty
how does it feel?

I'm sorry,what?

peace is impermenance
the zealot sometimes wins
battle of will
battle of steel

i have
to admit

to the power of a word
it exists.

hello.
goodbye.

Today - 30/12/2007

Its finally here.The end is the beginning is the end,or perhaps in this case the beginning is the end is the beginning. Either which way, I can not think of another instant in time when i have felt more relieved,happy,elated and satisfied.

It might not exactly qualify as the traditional 'job well done' but for the first time ever i can truly say that i feel a sense of accomplishment.

The lead up to the exams was tortuous,worse once they started and once one realises how grossly under prepared one is;out come the annual prayers and that December faith in the man above.Small routines assume Himalayan importance and change is an unwelcome visitor.

Waiting for results to finally arrive once exams were done with was the addendum.A week that was a strange combination of anticipation,fear,anxiety and freedom.Freedom,essentially since i knew that there was nothing further for me to do.Pass or fail,all that was required of me was patience.

It all happened in a blur.The phone rang,they were coming out at 7 i heard.It was already 10 minutes to the hour.A few frantic calls,some choice swearing at no one in particular,and the moment that shall hopefully not live on in infamy,I was for the first time official doctor material.

Now of course there were congratulatory handshakes and hugs,calls and visitations.It all finally meant something,4 and a half years of moderate-hard work,2 of those in highly unmotivated circumstances.This is certainly going to take some getting used to,that is for sure.The attendant respect i know i do not yet deserve.I must admit it all feels quite gravy :) Most especially the happiness and genuine pride I see in those family and friends who know me well,and who have seen me through a great number of things through the years.

Its 6 am and i couldn't sleep all that well.Put it down to nervous excitement.Honestly enough,i really do feel like im raring to go,but im also more petrified now than i ever have been.There is no more hiding behind not knowing or feigning laziness,i simply just have to.Petrified enough to dream of labrynthine hospital corridors and grand staircases and balustrades that i sprint up and down on running frantically in great dramatic fashion.First day coming right up.

I think of those who are no longer here,wonder what they would think and say.I haven't really had a moments pause to reflect on it,perhaps I haven't wanted to in some ways.

The end is the beginnning is the end.Fancy that.

This will probably end up being the last post for the year,so here's saying goodbye to a very eventful 2007 and wishing everyone a very Happy New Year for 2008.

Bittersweet Symphonies

I wish it would wake up,
get up on all fours and walk over to me.

Render me not useless
render unto me that elusive being

Idiocy permeates thought and action
Static as a rock? Solid like a rock.

Liberty,equality,fraternity.
Need equals want,equals greed.

Zero sum game.
I remember that chilly basketball morning.

Early morning poetry
Wave after wave.

Look Hook Crook

This is who i really am.
In the raw and ungutted.

Everything i do,
Everywhere i look,

Toe tapping

Belly laughs

Trying to unapologise myself

Imaginary piano's play and i think to myself
I am the one.

Wheelspin

Its the third turn of the wheel,
Full circle thrice over.

Forwardback rotationrevolution
raspy throats trying to sing.

A pretence of pretending,
..and that is how it goes.

The What to do da

What to do with the rest of today's afternoon?
What day is this?

The perfect prescription for the morose
Remember the days of melody

Shake and shout out loud
That never ever becomes ever forever.

The nonsense twists around boughs
pain-gain-learn,
I want to watch a movie i say.

Revolve

The world still turns,
My mind relays me back to the day,
the minute, the hour, the second.
An instant.

There is just this.
An apology for a theft
No end in sight,
endless ocean night

Versify me,it claims
turn me into songstress' seams
the medusoid rock theme
mirrors to myself.

And now it seems like a hundered years away,
a hundered years hence
i might think twice about it.
Or perhaps more than twice.

Qual

Somehow,everything seems to come back to the music.
That music i hear creeping around corners
Even when i'm half asleep and a world away,
even on the day the world turns in opposition;

Especially on those very days,it beckons my ear,
and tells of nascent ideas.
Nebulous bubbles,worlds awash in breezy green leaves,
peeking out of the detritus of the day.

Lending it ear,
I almost swear i could hear,
The last breath i left,ensconced in a raindrop,
on the branch of the mango tree.

Another

Its a particularly funny feeling
The imperfection of being
the incompleteness of a breath
unfinish this moment.

Trishanku

Inordinate strangeness,
I liked that one alot.
Regular,not plain.
Common sense and character.

Apologies are in order,
Expectant;hoping,waiting and cursing.
Want to get absolutely smashed?
Devil women,deep blue seas.

The third verse,
Akimbo,limbo,swimbo jingo?
There was once a king,
Trishanku.

Swim

Standing still,
streaming small rivulets
mirrors sometimes lie.

The Story of a Song

There was a time,
when i knew that rhyme
and sang it well.
Even if i alone thought so.

Carrying the tune,
verse jumbled upon verse,
back to front.
It all seemed such cacophony

I wonder how,
It all sounds like music to me now.

Haiku Attemptation

silent stray lightning streak
marking terrace sojourn.

anyone out there?
answer the question with a question.

breathe out air
slow moving night clouds

A cracked hole
faultless faults abound.

gesundheit.

In quest of

The music plays in french now,
the same words with the bip-bip-boppity-bop
the strangest thing in the world,
the strangest ever

breaking my head,
searching for that one true word
But nothing fits,
abegging description,no words suffice.

Calm and peace and quiet inside
Honestly,i know not how.
Maybe if it were some other day..
there would be more to say.

Not deception or hallucination
nor imaginary day dreamings
Simply,the strangest thing.
Always in gratitude.

Duke Disaster

How strange it is,
I cant seem to remember.
If it always felt like this, i mean
Maybe it did, cant say for sure.

A smile and a tear,equal measures.
Left ventricular hypertrophy.
Them funny goosebumps shoot out;
through the good foot i have left,into mosaic.

A dismissive turn of phrase,small little shrugs.
The last coal,blow hot,blow cold.sputterer.
a stone overturns itself,
uprighting,self-righting;rolling about.

Cant think of another verse.No more fingertip brilliance.

Away and Begone

Finally home
bed so does beckon
drifting sideways

fighting temptation
away!awaY.begone i say!
T'was a dark dark night

the spastic hand had no rest
glowing embers,that one last light
that one last song.
(that one last jing-chuk)

dreaming of
tomorrow's sleep.

In Dreams

I dreamt of you last night. Such a strange,funny dream it was.You lived in the forest; in the woods. Where the mists would cover the tops of the trees and you strain to see your own feet.

'There were plants and birds and rocks and things'.Coniferous for some reason.Big,tall grand Conifers and Junipers and Cycads and other assorted gymnospermae.I was almost certain I caught sight of a reptilian herd of rather large proportions peering at me from behind gargantuan ferns.

Did it feel like the Cretaceous? For sure I was lost in time, a confused reverie of no place and no time.

Harken to 1452.To an age of adventure.From amongst a tribe of some sort.American Indian? Sioux? Cree? Perhaps Incan? I really have no clue.Or maybe the children of the corn?
At the edge of the forest.Where the tree line ends and the vapourous mists rise upwards and can no longer stream past.The pall of a grey day,in the air alone.The wet of early morning.A small gracious wind,sunbreak,daylight approaching.Unbeatable.The dew falls off the trees,filling the air with the silence of their swaying.Rocky outcrops dot underfoot, with the water of fresh rain cascading across age old sculpted chasms.

At that very moment, they break out from under the trees.A skipped run,dressed in flowing white.Thats when i see you.You walk straight to me,looking as though you can see far past my shoulders.You need to use my radio/computer/wind-aided device.(the thing is all i can remember is that it was some sort of contraption).You need to send a message.It goes out in waves.

I awake to a lumpy blue futon,snot up my nose, an exam that i've half studied for and an ache down my spine that feels like an almighty dislocation.

The Tempest at Wikisource.

A Conversation

There are cobwebs on your ceiling.

I know, there are cobwebs everywhere.

Hmm

There are cobwebs in my head also.

(idiotic guffaws)

When

Particularly when the music plays
The thought of it seems only closer
Not un-tucked in recesses dark and deep
Surfing angular gyri

Bramble

You've got the music in you?

The airconditioner drones on. I feel like I'm on some far away alien planet. Kate Beckinsale. Fun company that would be.

A thousand days, a thousand suns.The marks of far ago and long away.

Its actually impossible to get through one simple sentence.Everything works together to further this mess.How exactly does life go on? All at once in a million tiny windows.

Forgive me this. All too often, I'm in need of silly sentimentality.

I doubt I'd understand any of this a year from now. I doubt I'd understand it in the morning.

It helps to have something that makes sense of everything else.Some folks call it a purpose I think.

Realigning

The world turns on its axis
its bent axis
its very own 33 and a half degrees

A call for realignment
axis and allies?
realigned along the lines of paper cracks and coverings
along the lines of tenderness

Facing the sun
Signalling readiness
The first rays kiss the waves
orange glow searing through, a new day.

Blip

I swear to god, i really did.more than anything else.

Babinski.Kadinksy.Petrovski?

Purposeful subterfuge.

I know you know.

Catharpiss

A thousand mistakes on loop,

a white shirt with flowers
a music that is humming
a day in the life of a miracle

a strange verse taking over the life of the ordinary
cutting it loose.

Redemption.

Rhymes that do not rhyme

The strangest of weights
Of long away and far ago

reduced to poetic ineptitude
hiding behind a haze of indecipherables

a web of words that would much rather sit mute in a theatre
watching play upon play
of lives that are lived in clear sight

of rhymes that do not rhyme
of poems that do not sense make
lost moorings, unknown ports of call

of endings ending
i picture a limestone cliff
lemming territory
great white waves

a grey sky
the wind, the wind
a gust to break the fall.

Trois

A memory cheat,
Days spent adrift a dream

Confounded worry of discovery
confound this centripetal stammering

Another line, another day
This is indeed the way.

deux

drunk again
all night poetry comes to mind
darth vader, luke skywalker, the father bit?
drunken calls, anonymous random nonsense

sway,
unable to trust one's own fingers
just out of grasp,out of reach
death star unfinishedness!

sleep overcomes all
all that slip
all that slide
all that escape
and all that go bump,bang,hoot,snarf at night

You are excused

A recurrent theme

Yesterday,today,tomorrow

Schrodinger's cat, Einstein's hamster ?

the act of the disappearing lumbar punctures

Lurching forward to lurch around

big tall blue lurch, green lurch, yellow lurch.

Tomorrow

Its the end of tomorrow and life will never be the same again. The vine grows around limp legs and struggles onward in exultation of the enlightened spirit. Open your eyes friend. Smell the cauliflowers. Small green days and brown sunrises. The epiphany of a million playing violins. Hello,Goodbye. Its ok, Its allright. Daybreak. Monotone. Technicolor supremo.

Ha Hum So Fum

Twin blades of grass
Night sweats
A gumdrop blood-drop

Palm-held, displayed aloft
small round beads
feckless
Still

Nothing to lose,
wary waiting moments
watch,watch,watch

Huh

In the event of organ failure. Do not resuscitate. Do not keel over the side of the road and/or jump into the nearest body of water. It is normal to panic. Do not compress the fist and most importantly remember that the weather will get colder. Unexpected warm currents may be expected.

The good thing about nonsense, i suppose, is that it really owes no obligation to make sense.

Buried Deep

A wisp, a wasp, an ant
The elusive tune

Stuck, quagmired, around swollen ankles
Hands held aloft

Percussion, drumbeat, drumroll
Take a bow

Applause on cue
Shots fired

Renunciation.

A Single Day

windswept days blowing in your hair
the rain keeps coming
drops the size of mangoes
quiet bass notes in your head

i look out over the wall
through the trellis
through the vines
brown and yellow dogs

burnished red paint
little flecks
blown away

The World from Afar

The darkness steals across the limp pool
waiting for that one moment.
Not knowing what to do,
He sits down and files his nails
seasons pass and civilizations fall.
Thinking of his youth, and the carefree days
days before he grew old,
days in which he dreamt.
But the days would not stop passing.