Sunday, November 10, 2013

Today - 30/12/2007

Its finally here.The end is the beginning is the end,or perhaps in this case the beginning is the end is the beginning. Either which way, I can not think of another instant in time when i have felt more relieved,happy,elated and satisfied.

It might not exactly qualify as the traditional 'job well done' but for the first time ever i can truly say that i feel a sense of accomplishment.

The lead up to the exams was tortuous,worse once they started and once one realises how grossly under prepared one is;out come the annual prayers and that December faith in the man above.Small routines assume Himalayan importance and change is an unwelcome visitor.

Waiting for results to finally arrive once exams were done with was the addendum.A week that was a strange combination of anticipation,fear,anxiety and freedom.Freedom,essentially since i knew that there was nothing further for me to do.Pass or fail,all that was required of me was patience.

It all happened in a blur.The phone rang,they were coming out at 7 i heard.It was already 10 minutes to the hour.A few frantic calls,some choice swearing at no one in particular,and the moment that shall hopefully not live on in infamy,I was for the first time official doctor material.

Now of course there were congratulatory handshakes and hugs,calls and visitations.It all finally meant something,4 and a half years of moderate-hard work,2 of those in highly unmotivated circumstances.This is certainly going to take some getting used to,that is for sure.The attendant respect i know i do not yet deserve.I must admit it all feels quite gravy :) Most especially the happiness and genuine pride I see in those family and friends who know me well,and who have seen me through a great number of things through the years.

Its 6 am and i couldn't sleep all that well.Put it down to nervous excitement.Honestly enough,i really do feel like im raring to go,but im also more petrified now than i ever have been.There is no more hiding behind not knowing or feigning laziness,i simply just have to.Petrified enough to dream of labrynthine hospital corridors and grand staircases and balustrades that i sprint up and down on running frantically in great dramatic fashion.First day coming right up.

I think of those who are no longer here,wonder what they would think and say.I haven't really had a moments pause to reflect on it,perhaps I haven't wanted to in some ways.

The end is the beginnning is the end.Fancy that.

This will probably end up being the last post for the year,so here's saying goodbye to a very eventful 2007 and wishing everyone a very Happy New Year for 2008.

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